It's so funny how things start...One day you're just “Someone's Mom” and the next you're “Chill Mom”. And all from a simple gesture of relating and connecting.
I remember the day it happened... it was Fall and I had just picked my daughters up from high school. Just the normal routine. While we were at a stop light one of the girls’ guy friends shot up a heart shaped hand gesture. I'd never seen that but I thought it was cool so I shot the gesture back and he yelled out "Hey, Chill Mom"!
From that day on I've been Chill Mom to my kids' friends.
Obviously, this should come as no surprise to anyone who knows Renee (or myself)...We are always eager to connect and relate with people. All people! We have the kind of homes where kids from school or the neighborhood like to hang out. There’s nothing fancy going on, no special games, no lenient rules... but it's relaxed and kids feel like they belong.
Over the years we've had Chill Mom parties and in the mix of friends that have come over to visit there are those with Chill Moms, some with not-so-cool moms and others whose moms have dropped out for one reason or another... really not-so-cool! There was one boy who lived a long distance from school and town and I noticed that he often walked home at night, so I ended up driving him on occasion. One night I asked where his mom was and why she couldn't pick him up. He said, “She turns her phone off when she goes out to party at night.”
Others may be dealing with a mom who cares in her own way, but may be too stressed, unhealthy, or unhappy to be a positive force in the household.
So, what's the definition of a Chill Mom, you ask?
We think Chill Mom Criteria consists of:
A Mom who is engaged with their kids.
She is encouraging.
She offers unconditional love.
She is healthy.
She is fun.
She is in-tune with her kids and what they are interested in.
She is respectful toward her kids and their friends.
She is strong.
And she is able to laugh at herself!
Take me for example, I feel comfortable talking with my kids, I enjoy learning about their music interests, I can drop it low on the dance floor better than most of them (thanks to my time at the gym) and I'm engaged.
(Not a Chill Mom = moms obsessed with Reality TV, drug addicts, people with unmanageable anger, drama queens, people who gossip or always talking negatively about others.)
Us Chill Moms tend to stick together. We know that our kids AND their friends are looking at us to see if it’s an act or if we really are who we seem to be. When you don’t witness adults being happy and taking care of themselves at home, you start to believe it’s a myth!
Chill Moms lead by example ~ I take my kids to the gym and teach them how to lift properly, we plan meals together as a family, we all share our hopes and dreams and fears, and we practice hearing each other out without judgement. We have FUN!! I cook mostly paleo yummy whole food at home and my kids' friends get to try new stuff and feel good about eating healthy!
As the years have gone by I still see my chill kids. Even have a license plate with Chill Mom. It elicits some interesting responses from kids and other Chill Moms. A couple weeks ago, rather than the typical stare to see who this 'Chill Mom' is or an occasional thumbs up, I got a woman driving up behind me waving enthusiastically and mouthing something.
I began to think there may be something wrong with my Jeep!!
Then she pulled up next to me, I had stopped at a stop light, rolled down my window and she yelled "I'm a Chill Mom, too!!!"
We bet if you are still reading this, YOU may be a Chill Mom as well! Renee and I created this website, a private Chill Mom HQ membership site, and a couple groups on Facebook so that all of us Chill Moms can bond together and share positivity during what can often be a challenging time in our parenting lives.
We welcome you with open arms to please join us, sign up for our Blog, and follow us on Facebook. We have a lot of Free Resources here in the website, too, and we are always open to suggestions for what to feature more of!
So before you go, please sign up for our blog and cruise around the site a bit. #chillmomsrock !!!